May 10, 2006

• I am a frustrated and bitter man. I will no longer return any lost valuables that I come across. However, that does not mean that I will misappropriate what I find, I will probably leave it alone and let the next person who comes across it decide what to do with it, unless I know the owner.

  
  

  For the first (and hopefully only) time, my handphone was lost and not returned. I think it is fair to say that it will not be returned, since within moments of realising that my phone was lost, I called the number and the phone was already off. Thankfully, I have no sex videos or naked pictures of myself in it. Including my family members and close friends, there must have been a total of at least ten lost wallets and handphones and not a single one of them was returned. The only possible exception was a man who yelled at my mother to alert her that she dropped her purse, because another chap ahead of him picked it up first. The thick-skinned asshole then hinted strongly at a reward and my mother was kind enough to give him twenty bucks. I would have told him in no uncertain terms to fuck off if I was not just a small kid then.

  
  

  I remain unconvinced by a Readers?Digest report I read in secondary school that stated Singapore was the most honest country in Asia. Writers from Readers?Digest supposedly left wallets in public places containing money and waited for them to be returned. The amount of money in each wallet was commensurate with the standard of living. Eight or nine wallets out of ten were returned in Singapore, thus crowning us as the most honest country in Asia. Bullshit, I say.

  
  

  Strangers (excludes my subscribers), you have been warned.

  • 11:08 pm
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